My dog just bit a 5 week old kitten. Jada has bitten before, but never another animal, and certainly not a tiny kitten that simply walked next to her. She’s bitten my friend, as I said in my first post on this blog, and my youngest son, and my husband. And me. It’s time to do something about this, I realize now. I don’t know how to afford behavior modification or medication, so I have a lot to think about, and that’s hard while she’s been relegated to the outdoors for the evening and is currently scratching furiously at the door.
But, that wasn’t the worst part of my day. I suppose my heightened (read: extreme) anxiety for the day was justified, really. I got a text just as I was laying down to go to sleep (after a sleepless night) at 6 AM from the boys (who I took in) mother. Today was her oldest son’s birthday, and I had gone out late last night to get him a small cake and a card so he’d have that when he woke up – of course we had to put it downstairs on his bathroom counter in a plastic container because he doesn’t actually ever come upstairs other than to use the front door. Anyway, his grandmother was supposed to drive up here to drop a gift basket off that she’d made for his birthday. She was going to drop it off at his school. She is disabled so she had to arrange for a driver. That’s what their mom texted me about at 6am – grandma isn’t going to be able to make it afterall so what could I do to help? And I wanted to help, but my husband was just getting ready to walk out the door to go to work and I was ready to pass out from exhaustion so I said I’d think on it and get back to her. I only got back to her at around 6:30pm after talking to my husband when he got home from work, and he said we could run down to the grandmother’s house (a good hour round-trip) to pick this basket up, but then the mom never got back to me. The boys came home at 10:45pm tonight and I only saw them for 5 seconds. (Not an exaggeration.)
Their dad had called my husband and via that exchange I got reamed out because apparently I have to have his permission to have the boys see their maternal grandmother. Someone could have told me this before. However, I never said I’d arrange for that…I was just going to give him a gift from her to her grandson. I told the kid’s mother that if SHE arranged a meeting with the boys and her mother – meaning that she cleared it with their dad – that I would ensure that it happened. So, yeah, their dad is really pissed at me because I’m talking to his ex, and only the oldest boy is talking to his mom. I hear horrible things from both parents about each other, and I’m tired of being in the middle, and honestly? I’m tired of having two ungrateful teenagers just coming here to sleep every night. I want to help them, and they are headed down a very destructive road, but I’m powerless to do anything about it. The crazed mother of the oldest boys girlfriend OWNS their lives and is golden in their dad’s eyes, so she gets to make more decisions than I ever have. I have NO control of this situation, no respect, and it’s starting to really get under my skin that the dad is telling my husband what I should be doing and not doing. Hey, I have an idea!!! Save up for an apartment that your kids can live safely in and then I won’t have to be involved? Just a thought.
I need the room anyway.
My middle son called me tonight crying his eyes out. His boyfriend, who he has been with for two years now (and cheated on him in the first 3 months of their relationship) has been chatting sexually with other guys online, on the same website where my son met him. He had been at a music festival and was supposed to be having a great time, but he got drunk and then really upset, and then decided to walk the hour-walk home while on the phone with me. I wish he would have taken a cab. He is so hurt that his boyfriend wants to cheat. He is desperate for intimacy that he hasn’t had in three months. When you hear your child crying that he wants to come home it literally tears you up inside. I immediately got sick to my stomach. I was helpless, and then his phone died. He only called me when he finally got home a half hour later. So I picked up the phone and it wasn’t him, but rather his boyfriend, and I could hear him crying – no, sobbing in the background. His boyfriend said he’d have him call me in the morning, and now I’m worried sick about him.
He’s built up a real life, has an amazing job and has been promoted. He’s in school. He has a dog. He is 3,000 miles away from me and I can’t just go pick him up. I can’t teach him that it’s okay to run at the first sign of trouble, although that is what I want him to do – just come home and let me take care of him. I don’t know how to handle whatever he says tomorrow morning, and I’m so worried about him. I hope that I’ll say the right things and leave my “momma bias” out of the conversation.
My oldest son, though…at least he sent me an email with some good news. I needed that. I really did.
He said that he was sorry that he didn’t get back to me the other morning, but that his new “possible boyfriend” had come over and they’d spent the last two days talking. He sounded really very happy, which means the world to me. My oldest has been through so much, and has been so lonely. I want him to find someone so badly. I want that person to see how amazing he is and to show him some tenderness. I haven’t been able to do that because he moved away, 3,000 miles away, when he turned 21 five years ago. Again, he’s been through hell and I haven’t been able to be there for him. I just want him to be happy. He deserves that.
He also mentioned that his stepmother was home, and “wearing a pant suit,” which means, apparently, that she was headed to her lawyer’s office to start a lawsuit against her family and the doctors who treated her in the psychiatric facility. Her parents did endanger her job by calling her CO and telling them what was happening. Not good. I hope things work out for her. AND I hope she gets the help that she needs. Also, my son needs some of that weight lifted from his shoulders.
So my sister emailed me at around 3:30 and I got the email a few minutes before my husband got home, so around 6:20pm. Apparently the owner of the shop who she is suing responded to a letter from her lawyer with information of his own, which included information that I had given him. Her email to me was incredibly threatening, to the point where I started panicking and shaking. I know that I must sound like an absolute wuss, but I’m actually not. I am just truly terrified of her. Oh, hell, I’ll just paste the email in here:
If you are trying to work with (owner) for money as a paycheck then you better show them the taxes that you moved from the sales tax of money that was accepted and you said that you moved or I will assume that you moved it to your own personal account and you will have to deal with them on that. I will give you until the end of the weekend to make some defense that I can add to my response to his attorney accusing that you never moved that money and my suspicions that you moved it to your own account.I don’t want you involved in my life any more then you want me in your yours but if you don’t want to help me answer these questions then I will have no choice but to have the lawyers involved contact you and when you don’t answer your phone or emails to them I am more then sure they will send someone to get the answers they are looking for.The hours you’ve told them you worked with out pay is highly exaggerated and easy to prove so I’d suggest helping in the problem since (owner) is more then happy to throw everyone under the bus, you can’t possibly believe after seeing his book keeping that he wont throw you under as well just so he doesn’t have to prove all of the things he’s been covering up with the business.I’m only asking once.
“I am only going to ask once.”