Friday Wasn’t a Nice Day

My dog just bit a 5 week old kitten.  Jada has bitten before, but never another animal, and certainly not a tiny kitten that simply walked next to her.  She’s bitten my friend, as I said in my first post on this blog, and my youngest son, and my husband.  And me.  It’s time to do something about this, I realize now.  I don’t know how to afford behavior modification or medication, so I have a lot to think about, and that’s hard while she’s been relegated to the outdoors for the evening and is currently scratching furiously at the door.

But, that wasn’t the worst part of my day.  I suppose my heightened (read: extreme) anxiety for the day was justified, really.   I got a text just as I was laying down to go to sleep (after a sleepless night) at 6 AM from the boys (who I took in) mother.  Today was her oldest son’s birthday, and I had gone out late last night to get him a small cake and a card so he’d have that when he woke up – of course we had to put it downstairs on his bathroom counter in a plastic container because he doesn’t actually ever come upstairs other than to use the front door.  Anyway, his grandmother was supposed to drive up here to drop a gift basket off that she’d made for his birthday.  She was going to drop it off at his school.  She is disabled so she had to arrange for a driver.  That’s what their mom texted me about at 6am – grandma isn’t going to be able to make it afterall so what could I do to help?  And I wanted to help, but my husband was just getting ready to walk out the door to go to work and I was ready to pass out from exhaustion so I said I’d think on it and get back to her.  I only got back to her at around 6:30pm after talking to my husband when he got home from work, and he said we could run down to the grandmother’s house (a good hour round-trip) to pick this basket up, but then the mom never got back to me.  The boys came home at 10:45pm tonight and I only saw them for 5 seconds.  (Not an exaggeration.)

Their dad had called my husband and via that exchange I got reamed out because apparently I have to have his permission to have the boys see their maternal grandmother.  Someone could have told me this before.  However, I never said I’d arrange for that…I was just going to give him a gift from her to her grandson.  I told the kid’s mother that if SHE arranged a meeting with the boys and her mother – meaning that she cleared it with their dad – that I would ensure that it happened.  So, yeah, their dad is really pissed at me because I’m talking to his ex, and only the oldest boy is talking to his mom.  I hear horrible things from both parents about each other, and I’m tired of being in the middle, and honestly?  I’m tired of having two ungrateful teenagers just coming here to sleep every night.  I want to help them, and they are headed down a very destructive road, but I’m powerless to do anything about it.  The crazed mother of the oldest boys girlfriend OWNS their lives and is golden in their dad’s eyes, so she gets to make more decisions than I ever have.  I have NO control of this situation, no respect, and it’s starting to really get under my skin that the dad is telling my husband what I should be doing and not doing.  Hey, I have an idea!!!  Save up for an apartment that your kids can live safely in and then I won’t have to be involved?  Just a thought.

I need the room anyway.

My middle son called me tonight crying his eyes out.  His boyfriend, who he has been with for two years now (and cheated on him in the first 3 months of their relationship) has been chatting sexually with other guys online, on the same website where my son met him.  He had been at a music festival and was supposed to be having a great time, but he got drunk and then really upset, and then decided to walk the hour-walk home while on the phone with me.  I wish he would have taken a cab.  He is so hurt that his boyfriend wants to cheat.  He is desperate for intimacy that he hasn’t had in three months.  When you hear your child crying that he wants to come home it literally tears you up inside.  I immediately got sick to my stomach.  I was helpless, and then his phone died.  He only called me when he finally got home a half hour later.  So I picked up the phone and it wasn’t him, but rather his boyfriend, and I could hear him crying – no, sobbing in the background.  His boyfriend said he’d have him call me in the morning, and now I’m worried sick about him.

He’s built up a real life, has an amazing job and has been promoted.  He’s in school.  He has a dog.  He is 3,000 miles away from me and I can’t just go pick him up.  I can’t teach him that it’s okay to run at the first sign of trouble, although that is what I want him to do – just come home and let me take care of him.  I don’t know how to handle whatever he says tomorrow morning, and I’m so worried about him.  I hope that I’ll say the right things and leave my “momma bias” out of the conversation.

My oldest son, though…at least he sent me an email with some good news.  I needed that.  I really did.

He said that he was sorry that he didn’t get back to me the other morning, but that his new “possible boyfriend” had come over and they’d spent the last two days talking.  He sounded really very happy, which means the world to me.  My oldest has been through so much, and has been so lonely.  I want him to find someone so badly.  I want that person to see how amazing he is and to show him some tenderness.  I haven’t been able to do that because he moved away, 3,000 miles away, when he turned 21 five years ago.  Again, he’s been through hell and I haven’t been able to be there for him.  I just want him to be happy.  He deserves that.

He also mentioned that his stepmother was home, and “wearing a pant suit,” which means, apparently, that she was headed to her lawyer’s office to start a lawsuit against her family and the doctors who treated her in the psychiatric facility.  Her parents did endanger her job by calling her CO and telling them what was happening.  Not good.  I hope things work out for her.  AND I hope she gets the help that she needs.  Also, my son needs some of that weight lifted from his shoulders.

So my sister emailed me at around 3:30 and I got the email a few minutes before my husband got home, so around 6:20pm.  Apparently the owner of the shop who she is suing responded to a letter from her lawyer with information of his own, which included information that I had given him.  Her email to me was incredibly threatening, to the point where I started panicking and shaking.  I know that I must sound like an absolute wuss, but I’m actually not.  I am just truly terrified of her.  Oh, hell, I’ll just paste the email in here:

If you are trying to work with (owner) for money as a paycheck then you better show them the taxes that you moved from the sales tax of money that was accepted and you said that you moved or I will assume that you moved it to your own personal account and you will have to deal with them on that. I will give you until the end of the weekend to make some defense that I can add to my response to his attorney accusing that you never moved that money and my suspicions that you moved it to your own account.

I don’t want you involved in my life any more then you want me in your yours but if you don’t want to help me answer these questions then I will have no choice but to have the lawyers involved contact you and when you don’t answer your phone or emails to them I am more then sure they will send someone to get the answers they are looking for.
The hours you’ve told them you worked with out pay is highly exaggerated and easy to prove so I’d suggest helping in the problem since (owner) is more then happy to throw everyone under the bus, you can’t possibly believe after seeing his book keeping that he wont throw you under as well just so he doesn’t have to prove all of the things he’s been covering up with the business.
I’m only asking once.
I just need to defend myself here.  My sister took credit card payments from customers via a Paypal swipe card and never moved that money into the business account and no taxes were ever paid on those sales/services.  She simply treated it as a cash account, and although it is true that she did transfer money to my Paypal account from that money, I have already told the owner that she did that.
I don’t understand why she’s mad at me.  All I did was leave the shop without saying anything.  That is ALL I did.  I didn’t say anything to her.  I didn’t act strangely.  I stole nothing.  I didn’t DO OR SAY anything wrong!  I walked on eggshells around her and was careful in how I spoke so that she wouldn’t get angry.  I took a lot of really bad treatment from her because I supposed that she was just really stressed from starting a business and I wanted her to succeed.  She was extremely mean to me and eventually to my youngest son, but me?  Every single day – just saying the meanest shit that had nothing to do with anything!  I tried my hardest to get her through everything, but all it did was end up fucking me over.  Apparently walking out of work to avoid a massive conflict (because I KNEW she wasn’t done yelling about things just because the owner had given up listening to her yelling and walked out the door) to her meant – somehow – that I was a backstabbing bitch who never wanted her in my life again.  It makes no sense to me, either, trust me.
So, she threatens me that lawyers are going to send people to my house TO GET ANSWERS (uhm, yeah – it doesn’t work that way!)  She threatened me about the hours that I told the owner I’d worked without pay, but I have it written down because – get this – I’m not a moron.  Also, I never found ANY evidence in the owner’s bookkeeping that he was doing anything even slightly shady.  The only thing I would say is that he could have been better at remembering to mark invoices as paid so that it was reflected properly in Quickbooks.  He just kept all of that information in his emails to fill in the blanks later.  I just happen to prefer to do it immediately.  The man is NOT shady.  He was above-board.
Then the final threatening sentence.
“I am only going to ask once.”
And then what?
See?  I act like it doesn’t bother me, but truly – I am actually very upset by that.  It’s an open-ended threat, of course, but it still scares me.  Is she going to come to my house and get violent?  Is she going to scream and yell at me and my son again?  (Thank GOD she left my house key on my dining room table the day she came by and took her camera and tablet while freaking out on us.)
I thought long and hard, as best as I could, about what to do about this email.  Then I talked it over with my husband and did what I thought was the best, and most right, thing to do.  I logged into the business Paypal account (I am the only one with the password, although she knew it at one time she forgot it.)  After doing that I made a PDF of all of the transactions, and then another one of all of the withdrawals from the account.  I then sent both PDFs via email to her, her attorney, and the business owner.  In the email I told the owner that if he wanted to take over that account that I would change the password and then email that information to him so he could have it.  Anyone who received the email could see that I offered that.  I just want NOTHING to do with this crap other than to get my paycheck for the hours that I expected to work.  That’s right – not the hours that I actually DID work, which was 457.5 hours over 41 days, but a compromise of 328 hours over 41 days because I didn’t feel that it was fair to the business owner to pay for my sister’s crazy need to keep me at the shop for 11 hours almost every day without a lunch break, so I adjusted the hours owed to me down to what an 8.5 hour day, minus a 1/2 hour lunch, would be.  328 hours.  And that is all I want.  I definitely don’t want to be involved in a fucking lawsuit because she’s doing underhanded shit to a decent guy!
Then what happened?  Oh, well, the most upsetting is trying to soothe my 12-year-old son and swear to him that the dog had not killed his favorite kitten, the little gray one.  He’s been sobbing and cuddling the kitten for about 2 hours now.  I’ve tried to reassure him, but he’s just really upset.  (Do they make doggie Xanax?  Because my dog needs doggie Xanax!!!)
Random news – went to my mammogram yesterday and it was normal.  Had to reschedule my yearly internal because – of course – it was a random “that time of the month.”  I am always “off” by about 2 weeks when I’m supremely stressed out.
God,  the fucking dog scratching at the door.  What am I going to do?  She is now whimpering.  This is my DOG.  I love this dog so much and she’s been so precious and dear to my heart for nearly six years, so I just don’t understand this behavior, and I’m scared of what this could mean for her.  It has to be medication and behavior modification – I will NOT ever give up my dog.  (But I can’t have her biting people and animals!!)  😦  I also can’t afford a huge veterinarian bill right now.
Oh, one last fucked up thing – my friend who is being treated for breast cancer – well, she had chemo, surgery, and now is at the stage where the she is cancer-free, but has to have some chemo, and daily radiation; she is having a horrible reaction to the radiation.  She has received five treatments, yet her breasts (when the doctors examined her) appeared as though they’d been through 15 treatments, and she is really very unwell.  She was able to skip radiation yesterday and today, but will resume on Monday – and then possibly chemo on Wednesday (thank GOD it’s not the chemo that makes her sick, though!)  I just don’t understand why every step of the way has been riddled with trouble for her…it’s just not fair.
She really wanted to go to an event tomorrow where there is a decorative glass company that makes a whole bunch of these little glass pumpkins (Halloween is her absolute favorite holiday) – and she wanted to photograph them and hopefully be able to afford to purchase one.  My husband and I were supposed to go with her.  Now it’s 7 hours and 15 minutes until we’re supposed to meet her there, and I still don’t know if she’s going to be up for it.  I hope so much – for her – that she is feeling well enough to go.  She’s wanted to go for several weeks and has been really looking forward to it.
Okay, so I’m sure the shit is going to just explode on the fan when my sister gets the email that I sent and sees that I sent it to her lawyer and the shop owner as well.  Meaning that I’m sure that I’ll have plenty to write about this weekend.
Wish me luck.
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